What a week to look back on…(whew!)

It’s been a week exactly at this very moment (5:05 pm) when I woke up in recovery at Loyola.  I remember looking at the clock and trying to decide if it was 5 after 5 or 25 after 1.  I figured sooner or later one of those hands would move and I’d know for sure.  Guess I was sort of “with it” at that point but it was an interesting awakening (and it was 5:05 pm at the time in case you wondered…).

What have I eliminated this week?  I’ve been thinking about that today.  Much of what I expected to - my prudishness about being poked and prodded and pushed and pulled (another “p” day on the blog) has diminished because of all the casts of thousands that seemed to want to see what my incision was doing at any given time of the day (or night).  I have eliminated the fear of the unknown as far as big surgery is concerned.  It is still a scary proposition no matter what but no longer an unknown so facing surgery in the future will have its own separate fears I suppose.

It hurts but it is not unbearable.  My incision is 9″ long and is a sort of “J” shaped thing on my lower abdomen.  I have Jaime’s left kidney in my right front side safely tucked away for good keeping.  It is working very well and those who have been monitoring it are very pleased.  My creatinine levels are near normal and my kidney function is right where it should be - both are better than they have been in probably 12 years or so.

 I don’t think it’s all hit me though.  As Jaime is probably getting off the plane right now I realize intellectually that she has left a part of her behind here and inside of me but I don’t think that psychologically, emotionally and spiritually it has really sunk in yet.  I know it will, though, and probably very soon.

I take over 50 pills each day which is amazing to me.  Each bunch of pills is a meal in itself and yet they still expect me to eat!  Sometimes eating is hard and sometimes it’s okay.  But those prune muffins that I created the other day??…they are working their wonder (okay - too much information….)

I have much more to write about.  The Lord gave me an angel during the surgery process and I will tell you more about Aaron Costeresan sometime in the coming days.  And He is giving me much grace.  I get very, very frustrated at how the simplest of things seem to take so much time and thought to do (”Let’s see, how do I stand up from this chair?  How do I get out of bed?  I have to do WHAT before I take a shower??)…too much to think about for such simple things.  I am seeing a point of frustration in all of that.  But I am also seeing God’s grace.

And how grateful I am for all those who are supporting me through this.  My incredibly capable and energetic sister is amazing.  And my friends (probably all of you who would possibly be reading this) have been a huge support and helped make this a little fun in the midst of the all the business of this surgery thing.

So, once again, thanks for reading.  I will make every attempt to write a little something every day now.  It is good for my soul and I think some of you might even be enjoying it some, too.

This entry was posted on 21. December 2007 at 01:32 and is filed under A Kidney for Carol - thoughts on the transplant. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.