I tend to be one of those people who likes to have all her ducks in a row and everything well planned out. Spontaniety is fine for fun things when time and planning isn’t all that important but when there’s limited time or other plans that are messed up then I really squirm to work through all those changes in plans, disappointments, dashed expectations, etc.
Today was one of those days for me today. I went into Loyola for several appointments fully expecting to run a couple of errands afterwards and come home to work a couple more hours. Instead one of the procedures couldn’t be completed and they will need to sedate me to do it and I am running a temp and my blood work is off just enough for them to be a bit concerned. So I was sent home to pack my bags and plan to head back to Loyola later tonight for a couple of days - a lady of leisure? Probably not. I was hoping to go in the office tomorrow and another day this week but instead my plans have to change and I have to adjust. Ugh…I feel squirming coming on.
So for those of you who are patient and spontaneous and don’t get ruffled when plans change - how do you do it? I know this is part of the Lord’s plans and I think of all the scriptures (”I know the plans I have for you…good and not harm” “If the Lord is willing then today or tomorrow we will [do this or that]” “Be still and know I am God” and then there’s all those “trust” ones, too.) I know all these things are true. I know the Lord has my best at heart. But that is a place where my spirit still needs to grow - I have to not only KNOW they are true but I also have to move it from my head to my heart and my spirit.
It’s a faith issue that’s always bothered me and I keep wondering when I will be spiritually mature enough to not have it be an issue - after 36 years of knowing Jesus you’d think I’d be there. But then again, perhaps this is my “thorn in the flesh” that I have to wrestle with the Lord each time my plans are not His plans.
Even at nearly 54 years old there are many lessons still to learn.
Thanks for reading.
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