One thing I had learned prior to the surgery is that one of the drugs I’d be taking for life could likely cause my hair to slowly fall out. Now I’ve never had thick, stunning golden locks anyhow so I was a bit apprehensive about losing even more of what little I have but the alternative drug to it had even worse side effects. This morning as I get ready to jump in the shower and start my day I am noticing the size of the wad of hair that is in the hair catcher. And I’ve noticed a little more “glow” off the top of my head lately and I notice that when I wear dark colors there are more curly blonde/gray threads hanging on to my clothes. I can tell when I put my hair in a pony tail that it takes one more wrap around to have it tight enough.
These are things I knew I’d have to wrestle with when I made the decision to go ahead with the drug. Do I regret the decision? Absolutely not. Am I struggling with the reality of it now? Certainly. I’ve always thought my hair was my one good asset and now it’s down the drain (pun intended). I don’t think I’ll ever be bald but it’ll be interesting to see how much I ultimately lose.
So now I’m trying to decide what I’m going to do about this in my head (as opposed to on my head…) and heart. I know there will be ongoing wrestling and perhaps even some grieving somewhere down the road. But I’m hoping I can also make something good out of this as well to help myself live with it and to hopefully encourage others in the same predicament.
It’s an interesting life but I’m grateful to have it right now and I’m glad to have to wrestle with these things. Last year I thought I was ready for the alternative but I don’t think I quite am yet. So by the Lord’s grace I will keep experiencing all these new experiences with my new kidney.
Thanks for reading!
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1. April 2008 at 16:50
Balding in my family is inevitable. I’ve always said to myself that when I started to lose my hair in large quantities I would just shave it all off and not even go through the denial. Wanna join me?
8. April 2008 at 17:26
Carol, If you DO shave your head, you know I’m weird enough to join you! Unless my husband tells me not to. I think you would look great in hats! When my mom lost her hair, she bought a wig but only wore it when non-family company was over because she didn’t like the way it felt. I thought she was just as beautiful without hair and I’m sure I will feel the same about you! Loving you from hair (er, here) to forever, Dawn