Have you ever heard what an Ebenezer is? You know in that old hymn we sing “Here I raise my Ebenezer….” - being the bold person I am, I once asked the pastor of a church I went to years ago what an Ebenezer was. He said that it is the name for the piles of stones - stone altars - that the children of Israel would erect when they had a remarkable encounter with God. An altar of remembrance for what the Lord had done in that spot.
I started my own Ebenezer a number of years ago. If I am in a location where the Lord has done something significant in my life I find a stone from that place and add it to the pile I have in a bowl on my bathroom sink counter. It has brought me great encouragement over the years when I look at it and consider what it is.
Well recently I got a CD by Steve Bell called Symphonies and it is a compilation of songs he has done on other recordings but in this one he is working with the Toronto Symphony to enhance the music just that much more.
One of my favorite songs recorded by him is Here by the Water (it’s actually written by an amazing songwriter named Jim Croegaert) and in it he talks about building an altar of rough stones “here by the river”. They are rough stones but he sets them down before the Lord saying “knowing you can make them holy”
Most rivers are in a river valley of some kind. In some cases those valleys are surrounded by mountains. As I was thinking about this at various times today while I listened to the song, I got to thinking about how easily we can rejoice when we are in the beautiful, glorious, majestic mountains. When we are on the top of the mountains we can see for miles and miles. Vision of what’s out there comes easily because we are above it.
But when we’re in the valley, our view is simply limited to that valley. The mountains block any view beyond the valley. Sometimes those same majestic mountains end up looking daunting and unfriendly instead.
So I give you all these word pictures to give some clarity on the state of my life right now. I am in a very deep valley now surround by very big mountains. Those mountains look beautiful and enticing - luring me to climb them and experience their beauty and the vision beyond the valley. But the view from the valley only makes them look daunting. They don’t lose their beauty but suddently that beauty becomes something to be feared instead of drawn to.
And so this new portion of my recovery from the transplant includes this deep valley that makes me feel fearful instead of adventurous. It’s born from the many drug side effects, stressful feelings trying to keep up with all I need to do both at work and at home. And I’m feeling very anti-social which in turn leads to loneliness (self imposed mind you). So that’s sort of a bird’s eye overview of where I’m at right now. I don’t want to do anything, go anywhere, see anyone - but of course that’s not a reality and I force myself to do things that are “normal.” until it tuckers me out or overwhelms me.
So here’s this simple yet profound song that keeps speaking to me:
“And here by the water I’ll build an altar to praise Him, Out of the stones that I’ve found here, I’ll set them down here rough as they are. Knowing You can make them holy.”
So right now my whole brain feels like a pile of stones - really, really rough sharp stones. I want to get to a place where I can take them and build an altar to praise Him - knowing He can make them holy.
And I look at the bowl of rough stones I have on my bathroom sink counter and by remembering where they came from and the significance of what happened in each place they were from - knowing He has made them holy. A holy remembrance of His good work in me.
So now I have this figurative pile of rough, cutting stones in my brain and in my heart. I need to figure out a way to gather them and figuratively lay them down to build an altar to praise him. This will be very difficult because they are enormous rocks - heavier than I can lift. But I know that if I give up my stubbornness and let Him help me move them - actually just allow Him move them himself (he doesn’t need MY help - just my cooperation) and arrange them into a pile that will praise him, my life would change dramatically and wouldn’t feel overwhelming like it does now. I know deep in my heart that He can do it even if I can’t and that it will be for the grace and strengthening of my life.
I will report as it unfolds.
Thanks for reading.
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